We’ll Never Be Ready

We’ll never be ready if we keep waiting
For the perfect time to come
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
When we don’t know, though we can’t see
Just walk on down this road with me
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready

Steady my hands, this one could turn around
Steady my heart, it’s beating faster
Steady my hands, this one could turn around
Steady my heart, it’s beating faster
Beating faster now

- Mat Kearney, “Never Be Ready”

How much certainty do I need before I choose to move forward?

I’m learning that with some things of life, I’ll never be perfectly “ready.”  Accepting this relieves a good amount of anxiety and fear.  I’m also learning that it’s possible to be confidently ready even if I’m not comfortably ready.  So often I say to God, “I don’t know, I can’t see, can you just obviously lay it out for me?”  Basically, take out any element of faith and I’ll easily take the next step.  But, no.

Instead, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’“  (Isaiah 30:21)  I look down this path and I’m so crippled by fear.  This fear is pitted against the truth that God is good and completely trustworthy. The internal battle ensues; the greater spiritual battle is so real.

From gracious nudge to gracious push to gracious shove, and after an absurd amount of merciful patience, a step of hesitant bittersweet obedience is taken. He walks with me through the lingering uncertainty.  And, he steadies me in my recurring doubts.  And, he especially holds me in my fears, without condemnation.  My heart does beat a heck of a lot faster– exceedingly so.  But, that’s not unfamiliar to him as he is kind to settle it and align it closer to his.

I’m so thankful. Praise God that he is so freakin’ merciful.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. (Lam 3:22)

Listening

Mat Kearney – City of Black and White (2009)

You know what’s so good? This album. I used to listen to his first full length album (Nothing Left to Lose) non-stop. Non-stop. And it looks like i’ll have another round of that! He’s touring right now and there’s a Vancouver date on November 1st. Definitely one of the downsides of moving away from Vancouver is many missed concerts. Sad times, i would very much like to go but i cannot. And!  And, Erin McCarley is opening for him on tour.  She sounds so good live.  Come to Calgary, Mat and Erin!

This record is sounding much more.. voluminous. (Is that a word? Yes, it is.) A lot more electric in the arrangements and yet, still very much acoustic. I like it, i like it a lot!

Sigur Ros – með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust (2008)

The English translation of the album title would be,  “with a buzz in our ears we play endlessly.”  Every time i listen to Sigur Ros i practise pronouncing the name of their band. si-ur rose (rolling the ‘r’s and speaking ‘rose’ quickly). si-ur rose. si-ur rose. yep. If you need your dose of mood music, here you go. It’s epic, lots of instrumental rises, emphasis on vocals, soothing falsettos.

Hillsong United – A_Cross the Earth: Tear Down the Walls (2009)

The title track takes the cake on this one for sure.  Another great anthem for the Church. But, I’ve listened through the album many times and only find half the songs memorable. Maybe i need to keep listening or maybe it’s just different. Don’t get me wrong, i like the album but it doesn’t stack up as much for me relative to previous projects like All of the Above and United We Stand and such. But, “Tear Down the Walls” is a must listen.  And again, Brooke Fraser tracks particularly stand out strong. (Side note: i signed up for a Twitter account just so i could follow Brooke Fraser.  Yes, i’m THAT girl.)

U2 – The Joshua Tree (1987)

Bought it for $4 at Goodwill. It’s The Joshua Tree, what else needs to be said?  Sadly, i won’t be able to go to the Vancouver pit stop of the U2 360 Tour at the end of October.  I know several people who are going and I am jealous.  Covetous.  In a sinful way.  hahaaa.  At least i can say i’ve seen them in concert though. 2005 Vertigo Tour, i think i temporarily lost my hearing back then.