september issue

Every now and then I like to kick back and spend a good 45 minutes watching HD trailers of what movies are up and coming. This time around I’ve come across The September Issue. In a sense, it’s like a real-life The Devil Wears Prada. The film follows Anna Wintour, Editor-in-Chief of Vogue for the past 20 years– aka, the one who has the last word.  The one who can make or break a design or line.  The alpha female.  You see elevated designers like Vera Wang, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Oscar de le Renta heavily weighted by her opinion.  You see Vogue employees extra dutiful and desperate for her approval.  It’s a fascinating dynamic and on a larger scale, indicative of the kind of society we live in.  That’s a whole other post but in short, intimidating and idolatrous.  Apparently, fashion is a $300 billion global enterprise and even as resourceful as i am, I’m still a part of this.  I’m enticed and curious, the film releases August 28th in New York and September 11th in select cities.  I hope “select cities” means one near me.

Official HD Trailer:

We’ll never be ready if we keep waiting
For the perfect time to come
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
When we don’t know, though we can’t see
Just walk on down this road with me
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready

Steady my hands, this one could turn around
Steady my heart, it’s beating faster
Steady my hands, this one could turn around
Steady my heart, it’s beating faster
Beating faster now

- Mat Kearney, “Never Be Ready”

How much certainty do I need before I choose to move forward?

I’m learning that with some things of life, I’ll never be perfectly “ready.”  Accepting this relieves a good amount of anxiety and fear.  I’m also learning that it’s possible to be confidently ready even if I’m not comfortably ready.  So often I say to God, “I don’t know, I can’t see, can you just obviously lay it out for me?”  Basically, take out any element of faith and I’ll easily take the next step.  But, no.

Instead, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’“  (Isaiah 30:21)  I look down this path and I’m so crippled by fear.  This fear is pitted against the truth that God is good and completely trustworthy. The internal battle ensues; the greater spiritual battle is so real.

From gracious nudge to gracious push to gracious shove, and after an absurd amount of merciful patience, a step of hesitant bittersweet obedience is taken. He walks with me through the lingering uncertainty.  And, he steadies me in my recurring doubts.  And, he especially holds me in my fears, without condemnation.  My heart does beat a heck of a lot faster– exceedingly so.  But, that’s not unfamiliar to him as he is kind to settle it and align it closer to his.

I’m so thankful. Praise God that he is so freakin’ merciful.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
(Lam 3:22)

thefray

Went to see The Fray in concert and they sound great live. My favorite performance was “Enough for Now;” there’s a heck of a lot of emotion coming out of that one. Even though the lyrics are tragic in of itself, i never quite felt the emotion behind it ’til i heard them perform it live tonight. Isaac Slade said it was very personal for him and that clearly came through.

They played every song from their new album and several from their debut record. They also did a cover of Kanye West’s, “Heartless” which I think surprisingly fits them well, actually. And, you can buy the cover off iTunes. The only song I wish they performed but didn’t is “Look After You” so all in all, thumbs up on the playlist.

PS, Verdera from Kansas City and Jack’s Mannequin from Orange County opened for them, both enjoyable.

white

lights

four

The Fray set list | August 5, 2009 | Vancouver, BC

1. Happiness (intro)
2. Over My Head (Cable Car)
3. Absolute
4. She Is
5. Say When
6. How to Save a Life
7. Ungodly Hour
8. Trust Me
9. Where the Story Ends
10. We Build Then We Break
11. Syndicate
12. Enough for Now
13. Never Say Never
14. You Found Me

Encore
15. Heartless (Kanye West cover)
16. All At Once
17. Happiness

“Enough for Now” Lyrics

The daughter’s father watches, quietly we assume
He’s not longer with us but he left this dusty room
In your name and it’s an honor, it’s a shame but it’s your honor
Take it on your shoulder til you can find another

That’s enough for now, he should’ve never left you broken
He should’ve held you, things your father never could do
That’s enough for now, he would’ve never left you broken
He would’ve held you, things your father never told you

The century before you never could turn 21
Years and years he waited just watching for a son
For someone to go ahead, take the name he said
Years and years he waited and a daughter came instead

Breathing comes in pairs
Except for twice
One begins and one’s goodbye

60 years of sorrow he got 5 or 6 of bliss
Left my mother’s mother without so much as a kiss

But that’s enough for now, he never wanted to leave you broken
He would’ve held you, things your father never told you
That’s enough for now, I would’ve never left you broken
I would’ve held you, things your father never could do
Words your father never told you

traveling-mercies grace-eventually

A friend was telling me about a book she’s been reading called Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott. I hadn’t previously known too much about Anne except that she’s a Christian figure/ writer often blasted by conservative types for her unorthodox ways and politically left views.

She writes her thoughts on faith in a casual, descriptive, humorous and honest way.  There are a lot of gooders in the book but one part that has especially spurred on further thoughts for me is her story of conversion. It’s not your typical testimony of someone inviting Jesus into their heart with hands folded calmly over a bedside. But the authenticity of her story reeks of something the Jesus of the Bible would do.

God’s pursuit of Anne happened over time– culminating in what reads as a very physical experience.  One day while in her room she feels this overwhelming presence of someone in the room with her. Not in a creepy way, just in a very real way. And for whatever reason, she knew that the presence of this person was none other than Jesus himself.

Implausible? Maybe.  Intriguing? Yes.

Her thought process was basically, “Why are you here? There’s no way I’m ever becoming a Christian.”  Yet, as the days passed she felt this presence of Jesus constantly with her, near her. Run as she may, both physically and figuratively, she found herself a week later surrendering to God. And how? This is the great kicker.. she said,

“F**k it: I quit. All right. You can come in.” And that’s her conversion. Can you believe it?

I want to insert a thought and suspend it here for a moment:  Christians love to discuss how one’s ways, experiences, theologies are neither here or there.  Discussion is good but often times along the way, either knowing or unbeknownst to us, such discussions can result in passing judgment and relegating condemnation.  Let’s not.  Especially when these conversations are largely based upon partial-knowledge opinions.  Let’s hold off, please.

Back to Anne’s story.  I’m amazed yet again at God’s loving pursuit for the hearts of men and women. Anne’s conversion actually reminded me of C.S. Lewis’ conversion (as recorded in Surprised by Joywhich I wrote a post about last year). Though his conversion did not happen with such.. colorful speech.. it seems to me what undergirded his moment of surrender to God was the same that of Anne’s. Lewis was running just as hard and just as far away from God as Anne was.  It looked different in each person’s life but in the midst of doubts, they each actively placed their faith in Christ anyway.  This active faith, birthed from the work of the Spirit, started to replace the intellectual pushback and rebellion they had prided themselves in.  It’s incredible.

Take a brief read at how both Lamott and Lewis record their conversion experiences:

I was appalled.  I thought about my life and my brilliant hilarious progressive friends, I thought about what everyone would think of me if I became a Christian, and it seemed an utterly impossible thing that simply could not be allowed to happen.  I turned to the wall and said out loud, ‘I would rather die’…

One week later, when I went back to church, I was so hungover that I couldn’t stand up for the songs, and this time I stayed for the sermon, which I just thought was so ridiculous, like someone trying to convince me of the existence of extraterrestrials, but the last song was so deep and raw and pure that I could not escape.  It was as if the people were singing in between the notes, weeping and joyful at the same time, and I felt like their voices or something was rocking me in its bosom, holding me like a scared kid, and I opened up to that feeling– and it washed over me.

I began to cry and left before the benediction, and I raced home and felt the little cat running along at my heels and I walked down the dock past dozens of potted flowers, under a sky as blue as one of God’s own dreams, and I opened the door to my houseboat, and I stood there a minute, and then I hung my head and said, ‘Fuck it: I quit.’ I took a long deep breath and said out loud, ‘All right. You can come in.’

- Anne Lamott in Traveling Mercies, 49-50.

You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. That which I greatly feared had at last come upon me. In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England.

- C.S. Lewis in Surprised by Joy, 228-229.

While reading Traveling Mercies, I did what I often do in response to books and movies: I googled.  There’s a lot to sift through in reading and watching various Anne Lamott interviews.  As I’m learning more about Lamott and reading various articles she’s written surrounding culture, faith and politics, I’m imagining in my head that if C.S. Lewis and Anne Lamott were put side-by-side in Christian culture, you would get different opinions and responses.

It seems to me a large divide appears when you throw out these two names in the general Christian community. Lewis is well honored and respected (deservedly); a favorite when it comes to name-dropping in Christian culture.  But with Lamott, i think we fail to offer her the kind of grace we ourselves have been recipients of.

There are definitely issues where i disagree with Anne.  But after reading Traveling Mercies as well as another one of her books, Grace Eventually, it’s so evident to me that God is actively at work in her life, transforming her.  And that’s what God is in the business of doing: transforming and changing lives.  It may look a little different person to person, the pace may be different but none of us have “arrived.”

Scripture must remain the standard through differing convictions.  But in the midst of discussing Scripture’s interpretation and implication on our lives, let’s rejoice in what God is doing in the midst of it, and in spite of ourselves.  Reading Anne’s books have challenged my own thinking of how God is at work and I’m very glad for it.

Mat KearneyCity of Black and White (2009)

mat

You know what’s so good? This album. I used to listen to his first full length album (Nothing Left to Lose) non-stop. Non-stop. And it looks like i’ll have another round of that! He’s touring right now and there’s a Vancouver date on November 1st. Definitely one of the downsides of moving away from Vancouver is many missed concerts. Sad times, i would very much like to go but i cannot. And!  And, Erin McCarley is opening for him on tour.  She sounds so good live.  Come to Calgary, Mat and Erin!

This record is sounding much more.. voluminous. (Is that a word? Yes, it is.) A lot more electric in the arrangements and yet, still very much acoustic. I like it, i like it a lot!

Sigur Rosmeð suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust (2008)

sigur ros

The English translation of the album title would be,  “with a buzz in our ears we play endlessly.”  Every time i listen to Sigur Ros i practise pronouncing the name of their band. si-ur rose (rolling the ‘r’s and speaking ‘rose’ quickly). si-ur rose. si-ur rose. yep. If you need your dose of mood music, here you go. It’s epic, lots of instrumental rises, emphasis on vocals, soothing falsettos.

Hillsong UnitedA_Cross the Earth: Tear Down the Walls (2009)

hillsongunited

The title track takes the cake on this one for sure.  Another great anthem for the Church. But, I’ve listened through the album many times and only find half the songs memorable. Maybe i need to keep listening or maybe it’s just different. Don’t get me wrong, i like the album but it doesn’t stack up as much for me relative to previous projects like All of the Above and United We Stand and such. But, “Tear Down the Walls” is a must listen.  And again, Brooke Fraser tracks particularly stand out strong. (Side note: i signed up for a Twitter account just so i could follow Brooke Fraser.  Yes, i’m THAT girl.)

U2The Joshua Tree (1987)

u2

Bought it for $4 at Goodwill. It’s The Joshua Tree, what else needs to be said?  Sadly, i won’t be able to go to the Vancouver pit stop of the U2 360 Tour at the end of October.  I know several people who are going and I am jealous.  Covetous.  In a sinful way.  hahaaa.  At least i can say i’ve seen them in concert though. 2005 Vertigo Tour, i think i temporarily lost my hearing back then.

I love my job on staff with Campus for Christ.  Part of what i get to do is help lead summer missions projects all around the world for university students across Canada.  Most recently from May-June, I and 25 other staff and students went down to Panama to help build movements of evangelism and discipleship on university campuses as well as spending time in more rural areas of the country.  I put together some photos and short stories of our time there for anyone interested.  Great times were had!

panama

The 7 weeks i spent in Panama have been amazing and now that i’m back in Canada-land, i’m also back to blogging. It’s been a great missions trip, still lots to process and a tremendous amount to be grateful for– not only for what God is doing in Panama but in my own life as well.  If I had to sum it up in one word (which i shouldn’t, but I will), it would be: hopeful.

I’m going to string together some stories and pictures later on but in the meantime, a few Panama memories come to mind…

  • Having several significant “light-bulb” moments about the Spirit-filled life.
  • Seeing students come to Christ and then seeing them lead others to Him within weeks.
  • Transformed lives.
  • Cliff jumping up river.  And the wedgies that come with the territory.
  • Someone whipping an orange at my stomach with their machete.
  • Being present at the execution of a chicken, which later became lunch.
  • Witnessing a 13 year-old young man lead a 13 year-old young lady into a relationship with Jesus.  Surreal and divine.
  • Learning and experiencing more on effective ministry transference (vague jargon, i know).
  • A great team of students.

I´ve been in Panama the last few weeks and will be here ´til mid-June so blogging is on haitus until then. See ya on the flipside, world wide web!

mgmt

I’m on an MGMT binge right now. It took a while for me to get into it and even so, i still think they sound best in moderation. I heard about them a few months ago from a friend and then started hearing them all over the place at events, in stores, on TV shows, etc. So, i bought the Time to Pretend EP to give it a whirl. Had a listen, it was okay, didn’t think too much of it except that it sounds like video games half of the time (deet deet deet, boop boop, deet, deeeeet.)

mgmt_time_to_pretend

They are definitely an eclectic duo. The synth-pop/ experimental/ electronica genre is not my usual scene but lately i’ve brought MGMT back into rotation and have found myself playing them on repeat (especially “Kids”), blasting the volume, bobbing my head, smiling a little to myself. I don’t think i’ll be getting much more of their stuff but for now, i’m all over it. Part of me still can’t believe i’m into them cos they’re so… well… WEIRD.

So weird, but so catchy. Case in point: the video for “Kids.”

Also, this is a pretty neat iPhone applications cover by the UK’s all-ladies band, The Mentalists. They’re performing the song using “instruments” that are strictly downloaded applications on their iPhones.  Technology, you are amusing.

startrekposter

I’m excited to be going to Panama soon for 6 weeks but it means i’ll be M.I.A. for some of my most anticipated movies of the summer. Will just have to wait ’til I’m back.

You know what online resource i really like?  Theatrical trailers hosted on Apple’s website.  From time to time i’ll spend 20 minutes watching HD trailers there.  Movies i’m looking forward to most in descending order:

4. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (May 1)

I grew up around comic books and X-Men was my favorite.  And Hugh Jackman is so rugged.

3. Angels & Demons (May 15)

I bought Dan Brown’s book and will be reading it during my time in Panama.

2. Terminator Salvation (May 21)

Terminator 2 is on my list of favorite movies.  T-3 was uber lame.  But this next installment looks promising.  Casting Christian Bale as John Connor fits exactly what i’d imagine in my mind.

1. Star Trek (May 8 )

I’m looking forward to this one the most! Star Trek franchise + J.J. Abrams = good odds for epic entertainment!

I’ll be back in time to watch the newest Harry Potter; the latest trailer was recently released and it looks GREAT in HD.