We’ll never be ready if we keep waiting
For the perfect time to come
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
When we don’t know, though we can’t see
Just walk on down this road with me
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready

Steady my hands, this one could turn around
Steady my heart, it’s beating faster
Steady my hands, this one could turn around
Steady my heart, it’s beating faster
Beating faster now

- Mat Kearney, “Never Be Ready”

How much certainty do I need before I choose to move forward?

I’m learning that with some things of life, I’ll never be perfectly “ready.”  Accepting this relieves a good amount of anxiety and fear.  I’m also learning that it’s possible to be confidently ready even if I’m not comfortably ready.  So often I say to God, “I don’t know, I can’t see, can you just obviously lay it out for me?”  Basically, take out any element of faith and I’ll easily take the next step.  But, no.

Instead, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’“  (Isaiah 30:21)  I look down this path and I’m so crippled by fear.  This fear is pitted against the truth that God is good and completely trustworthy. The internal battle ensues; the greater spiritual battle is so real.

From gracious nudge to gracious push to gracious shove, and after an absurd amount of merciful patience, a step of hesitant bittersweet obedience is taken. He walks with me through the lingering uncertainty.  And, he steadies me in my recurring doubts.  And, he especially holds me in my fears, without condemnation.  My heart does beat a heck of a lot faster– exceedingly so.  But, that’s not unfamiliar to him as he is kind to settle it and align it closer to his.

I’m so thankful. Praise God that he is so freakin’ merciful.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. (Lam 3:22)