Brett Westervelt writes:
We are afraid of what people might think if they knew what we actually thought. We fear looking stupid. I’m fine if the conversation stays on impersonal topics like sports or the weather or how that guy’s outfit does little to compliment his body type. I tend to speak my mind about those kinds of things, because there’s not a whole lot hinging on my opinion. Wait, you think it’s unseasonably warm this fall? That’s ridiculous. Our friendship is over.
It’s when things get personal that I begin to keep my actual thoughts private. It’s not that I really want to be dishonest. The pretense is draining. It’s just that honesty is risky, and it’s rarely politically correct. It’s easier to lie or to just keep things impersonal.
What I sacrifice along the way is meaningful relationship…
4 Comments
Hmm, this article is definitely relevant to me. I’m just learning to say what’s on my mind (in a loving manner of course) rather than hiding it. It’s definitely a toughie…
interesting thoughts. who’s Brett Westervelt?
I’m definintely guilty of this. I’m not sure whether it’s a good or bad thing in a lot of cases, but I know I have and continually do it. I’m curious what about this guys comment here that jumped out at you..
Mindy, a toughie indeed!
Jill, Brett is on staff with CCC at Univ of Texas, he wrote this as part of an article. wait for my Part II..
Wes, this whole section jumped out at me cos i identify with it so much. esp the second half, “It’s not that I really want to be dishonest. The pretense is draining.” it IS draining. i can def grow in this area. i’m sure we all can. thanks for the thoughts.