Okay, kids. The current Twilight phenomenon has caught up with my curiosity. It takes up a huge chunk of space in every Chapters, there’s an unreasonable amount of paraphernalia around, screaming girls are sobbing and heaving at the mention of Robert Pattinson, some of my own peers are crazed with it as well. What’s the deal? Teenage “love” stories and vampires… i don’t get the appeal.

So, i read it last week to try to piece it together. And what can i say? Well, it’s proved itself to deservedly belong in the teens fiction category, that’s for sure. The whole thing is easily predictable, many parts quite drawn out, cliches and overkill at every angle.

But what’s most frustrating about Twilight is the very thing that sells it. Edward and Bella.  In short, he’s a brooding teen in public and an aggressive vampire in secret. She carries herself with a mild “screw-off, world” attitude even though she really does care about people. Together, “I hate you” actually means “I love you” (or, at least, “I’m so infatuated with you and our inter-species dating relationship”) and meeting the parents is a whole new ball game (hardy har har, cliche pun for those who’ve read the book).

I find it hilarious that they can’t bear spending ANY time apart from one other. It’s one thing to miss somebody but EVERY waking (and sleeping, for that matter!) moment MUST be together?  Don’t be so dramatic, a few hours without the other isn’t going to annihilate your very existence. Boundaries, people!

But besides my cynical ranting, I have to give it props cos it succeeds in its intentions. It’s not asking to be reviewed as literature. After all, who am i to fault mindless entertainment? I like watching 90210.

I won’t be reading the subsequent books in the series but i’ll eventually watch the Twilight movie.  I leave you with one of the best worst parts in the book (from Ch. 16):

“Can’t you see that, Bella?” He was suddenly intense, all trace of teasing gone. “Don’t you understand?”

“See what?” I demanded, confused by his sudden mood swing as much as his words.

“I’m never angry with you, how could I be? Brave, trusting warm as you are.”

“Then why?” I whispered, remembering the black moods that pulled him away from me, that I’d always interpreted as well-justified frustration, frustration at my weakness, my slowness, my unruly human reactions.

He put his hands carefully on both sides of my face. “I infuriate myself,” he said gently. “The way I can’t seem to keep from putting you in danger. My very existence puts you at risk. Sometimes I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to… “

I placed my hand over his mouth. “Don’t.”

Pfffffahahahhahahaaaa. I placed my hand over his mouth?! “Don’t??!”  Oh my dear, classic.

Lastly though, i have several friends who are reading the series and enjoying it.  I consider them intelligent, grounded, sensible people.  I just had to get this post out of my system, i can’t knock it completely.  If anything, it was amusing.  So, don’t send me any riled up hate mail (or, you can. i might be entertained).