We know life will never be void of the ups and downs that everyone experiences. But what will set apart the stagnant, defeated life from the one that is enabled to continually grow, even in the wrestling presence of that back and forth struggle?

(Define terms first) Many people liken the “ups” to mountain tops and the “downs” to valleys. I remember the sheer relief that i felt after i walked out of a season of my life that i would define as “valley.” I remember sitting through sermons, talks, listening to other peoples’ experiences, reading articles and discussing topical issues relating to pain, disappointment, struggles of life and just feeling so GLAD that those experiences and emotions were things i was able to leave behind at that particular time of my life. Seriously, all was good in the hood. Not in the naive, ignorant bliss sort of way. But life felt like smooth sailing relative to what was. Out of the valley, ready to taste the next mountain top. Yet, there came that slight tug and pull, knowing the familiarity of that doggone “up and down” pattern brought the anticipation that- eventually, i’d move off the mountain top just as quickly as i got up there. When would the onslaught of the next valley come? Actually, it didn’t come for a while. A nice, long stretch of an apex view. But, it’s bound to happen cos that’s how we grow. Can’t stay on mountain tops forever. Remember, nothing grows on mountain tops. Rich growth happens in valleys. And that’s not just a trite spiritual metaphor but a literal fact as well. Biological life is booming in the valleys of the earth.

All this is to say that i can feel it… it’s right there.. time to get stretched again. Valley, how we have a hate / love i-can-appreciate-you relationship. And i don’t mean to write this to say that life is in the ka-putz right now. In a sense, things are never better in that I’m stoked for what’s ahead, the vision of what I’m called to do fuels great excitement and purpose and urgency in me!  But there are some personal things and ministry/work seasons to currently work through (more of the former, less of the latter) that if i don’t, would be a big impediment to the full potential of what can be.  And, let’s be honest, if i had it my way i wouldn’t deal with it at all. But since someone’s got to finish what he first started in me, i guess i should address what he’s put on the table.

Geez, i haven’t been this honest in a while. (and yet, still so vague, Steph). Well, it’s a start.

My comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become